Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Downside Of Coaching

Today is going to be a hard day.

I have to crush some young girls hearts.

I don't take it lightly, in fact it is agonizing for me.

The WORST part about coaching is having to cut a player.

I have 65 7th and 8th grade girls trying out for the middle school volleyball team I coach.

I can only keep 15. 
I wish I could keep them ALL.

I don't post a cut list.  It would be so much easier to post a list and not see the disappointment in their faces.  It's just my feeling that a list is so impersonal.  I talk to every kid, some face to face and some on the phone.  I try to encourage them to keep practicing and to not give up.

Those of you with children that play sports, just know coaches don't take these decisions lightly.  We lose sleep over it.  We worry about those kids that we have to let go.  We feel their pain.

I just have to try and not cry while cutting them.

I hate today.  

10 comments:

  1. Shannon, will be praying for you today. As a parent of a player and now young coach who had to make those very same decisions back in November for her club team, I know how difficult it is. Especially with girls that age (they can be very emotional). We have been through many a tryout ourselves, some good, some disappointing. I too have been through cheerleading tryouts with our oldest, 100+ girls vying for 36-40 spots! I applaud you for taking the time out to talk with each one individually. That way they know where they stand, what they need to work on, and can walk away without constantly questioning why? I have always said next to being a parent, teaching and coaching is the most difficult jobs in the world!

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  2. It took me 14 years and many try outs before I found the sport that I loved and was good at. After that, I spent the next 10 years playing water polo. I'm sure they appreciate knowing where they stand and what to work on for the next year. Take pride in being more helpful in the process than most coaches.

    Meg
    http://megshandmadelife.blogspot.com

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  3. we've been in the mix of that many times, as players. thinking of you today. glad to hear the thought process behind it. hang in there. i'm sure your tenderness and gentle approach is appreciated.

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  4. oh yes....stinks big time!! My husband has coached football, basketball (played them both in college)and baseball...my kids have played every sport available through college...the cutting is the WORST!! I watch my kids play everyday in the back yard...they split teams evenly the best kid gets picked first, the worst kid gets picked last...but they ALL play and make their own rules and adjust those rules fluidly...sometimes organized sports has drawbacks. anyway...good luck!!
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

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  5. Oh I feel the pain this recently happened to my nephew, its the hard knocks of life. Shannon you will do your best to deliver the news gently, its in the delivery right. Have a good weekend :)

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  6. Thanks for sharing. I remember being cut from the basketball team in junior high. I assumed that meant the coach didn't like me. Then when I lettered in track later that year, the coach seemed genuinely happy for me, and I remember feeling surprised. Of course, the coach didn't want to hurt my feelings, like you. Thanks for sharing that with the parents. I think some parents and students like me take it personally when it isn't at all.

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  7. Thanks for sharing. I coached high school girls lacrosse for a few years and the tryout/forming the teams/cutting part was harder than any other part of the season. It is so beatiful to see these girls striving/working for something they want to do that you feel awful crushing that. But as someone mentioned above this will be part of life and don't we all wish our first experiences at hearing 'no' were from someone kind and direct like you! Good luck!

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  8. Just want to say how lovely it is to know you feel so much for your students...I feel your pain..not as a coach, but simply as a person, maybe as a mum...so hard having to be honest with kids and tell them they're not quite as good as they think they are. Never easy. I hope the day went better than you expected. Bless you :)

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  9. Just want to say how lovely it is to know you feel so much for your students...I feel your pain..not as a coach, but simply as a person, maybe as a mum...so hard having to be honest with kids and tell them they're not quite as good as they think they are. Never easy. I hope the day went better than you expected. Bless you :)

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  10. I too coach middle school volleyball and it is hard to see the disappointment. Keep up the good work!

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